Monday, May 24, 2010

Parents Need to Time to Plug in to Teens

Today's parents are juggling more balls than ever before- from finding a way to pay for a mortgage, to managing two or more jobs, to jockeying kids to and from a host of activities and having fewer supports in place than yesteryear, parent today are taxed in a multitude of ways. With that painful reminder is an equally sobering need; teens today are stressing in ways that are unique to their generation- media saturation, cell phone dependence, facebook gossip, increasing normalcy of violent imagery, etc. It is no surprise how teens and parents today butt heads to a breaking point. There are simply too many issues to cope with and quite frankly only the strong (mentally) appear to survive. Even those that seem mentally well adjusted scramble to balance the needs of so many contemporary responsibilities. Truly these are unique times that call for parents and teens to take a step back and recognize that some of the "bullets" they are firing at each other have more to do with a social structure that has made this effusive relationship even more challenging than ever. Teens and parents need counsel on how to avoid an ugly and time consuming blame game that reduces anger and causation of problems to each other rather than a poor social design. Families who challenge high speed modern living, are more communicative and place a greater value on family connection as oppossed to family achievement. It is a scary trend when parents and kids spend on average 15 minutes of quality time together per week in meaningful conversation. This 2 minute daily check-in is often void of any substance nor meaningful connecting component. Parents who work hard to balance their lives and by keeping their children's mental and emotional well-being at the forefront of their thinking have a greater chance of maintaining a pulse on their kid's true self. It amazes me how few parents know how to talk to their teens, when the answer lies more in questioning that very thought. It is not about what to talk about with teens but more about how to listen to teens.












Bryon Remo teen therapist adolescent therapist, couples therapist, family therapist, Southbury Connecticut Middlebury Connecticut group therapy ADHD ADD depression, anxiety, substance abuse, Bryon Remo is available for a phone consultation at 203-577-9194

No comments:

Post a Comment