Parents and Teenagers Need a Little Tenderness

When it comes to parenting teenagers nobody seems to envy parents. Yet why are there those that find teens to be endearing. Teens are among the most grossly misunderstood population perhaps next to the elderly. This is often because adults lay claim to having previously been a teenager and thus fully comprehend the complexity of teen living. While many things continuously echo adolescent living from years past I cannot imagine a reasonable person doubting the uniqueness of today's teenagers' challenges. From media saturation, to excessive forms of communication; an inundation with facebook, myspace and other time stealers to the over liberalization of music and an onslaught of drug choices that have yet to be fully understood, today's adolescents face issues that adults are ill equipped to handle. To be fair, this is not the adult's fault as the mass movement of technology has caught us all on the trough of the wave. But those that have a willingness to not so much endorse modern amenites and communication fads, but rather to understand their "normalcy" in today's culture are more likely to connect with a teen population that so desperately needs understanding. There are many great advantages to living in 2010. Yet many are beginning to question, "Has technology truly improved the quality of life." Afterall, these "toys" that teens can't seem to live without come with a pricetag. This price is often not in the form of a one time purchase but in a two year membership with unlimited this or free that. So when will human relationships become intimate again? That's probably better left to divine scholars than I, but one thing seems for certain to me. If adults only see the negative in what the teen world is confronted with regarding consumerism, materialism and a giant marketing campaign to steal our children's values, it will be quite difficult for us to be in positions of influence with them. That is to say, how can we convince of youth that there is a danger to too much technology if they don't feel we understand its upside. We lose much credibility when we share concerns without empathizing with current culture. It is true that life would be easier if teens would just listen and heed the advice of well informed and well intended adults- especially those adults that truly enjoy and appreciate teens. But because teens often view adults with suspicion and are portrayed as "out of touch" we are called to further understand first the benefits of teen decision making before we can pull them away from the "dark side." The important point here is that with a little tenderness and recognition that each generation has its own set of challenges, adults need to soften to that which teens didn't create. A little understanding creates a little more closeness.

Group Therapy

Group therapy offers the opportunity of a shared experience which extends beyond the feedback of the therapist. Oftentimes group members find it healing to exchange stories that thread their experiences together. This provides a benefit for both the assertive and more reserved individual.

Throughout the course of the year I facilitate various groups depending upon the given needs of the community. Some of the groups that will occur this year will likely include the following:

Sibling group
New father’s group
Father/Daughter group
Tightening the connection with my teen
Discovering the gifts of ADHD
Discovering balance in a busy world
Groups will be kept intimate in size (Between 6 and 8 individuals). Check my website for further information, including registration forms. Personal phone contact will be made with each individual before the onset of a new group. This will allow for appropriate group pairings and an opportunity to know a bit about your personal needs. Groups will often occur in the evenings on Friday or Sunday.


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Call (203)577-9194
for a free and confidential phone consultation.

Couples Therapy

Working with couples has taught me that each individual truly has something invaluable to offer the process of change in relationships. Typically one member of a couple is more motivated to seek support and feels the relationship is no longer tolerable without intervention. However, creating effective and lasting change requires the commitment of both individuals. The starting point for this change is a desire for a different way of relating; a craving to rewrite the script of communication that has not allowed the kind of closeness that people seek. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I am uniquely trained to track patterns of relating that have caused couples to become “stuck” in repetitive and useless patterns of communicating. I challenge couples to become more authentic with one another and to take risks toward a deeper and more intimate connection. Through the use of couples assessment tools, interactive dialogue, solution-focused problem-solving and experiential activities, I incorporate a caring, empathetic presence with creative interventions while working in the “present” more than the past.


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Call (203)577-9194
for a free and confidential phone consultation

Family Therapy

Each family has its own distinctive way of communicating. The particular style of relating is often what contributes toward family closeness. However, as families move through life transitions, individuals often discover new ways of communicating that is not always comfortable for those still relating in their family’s traditional manner. This can cause tension between family members, not because of the issue at hand, but due more to the contrast in the approach to problem solving. As a Family Therapist, I work experientially with all family members in shedding light on individual styles of communicating, helping families recognize strengths in others, encouraging risk taking and holding each other accountable for family well-being. I believe it is essential for family members to create a sense of safety for others family members to share thoughts and feelings that may be unpopular. My goal is to help family members become more aware of the interconnectedness of the family unit and to promote the motivation to desire change. This often occurs when family members are “sick and tired” of being “sick and tired.”


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Call (203)577-9194
for a free and confidential phone consultation.

Teen Therapy

As a specialist in adolescent issues, I have worked with adolescents and families for the past eleven years in various capacities.

I have developed my clinical skills within schools, hospitals, residential facilities and private practice. In addition, I have extensive experience working with special needs students struggling with emotional, behavioral and learning difficulties.

My fondness for the teenage population stems from a strong understanding of the unique challenges facing today’s youth. Teens today are inundated with conflicting messages from the media, changing family dynamics, dangerous club drugs, high stakes testing, online distress, cell phone madness and self-supervision. Even the most protected adolescents are exposed to many of these elements. My work with teens addresses these and other difficult issues and challenges young people to stretch the boundaries of communication with their parents.

I distinguish myself from other therapists in my ability to connect quickly, effectively and mutually respectfully with teens. I strive to continuously assist young people in exploring their inner world and simultaneously challenging them to take greater responsibility for their decision-making.

My approach to working with teen is interactive, solution-focused, collaborative and existential. I feel strongly that teens need honest, direct and creative approaches to mobilizing them. There is modest use for traditional psychodynamic approaches for contemporary kids who often have little tolerance for therapy to begin with.


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Call (203)577-9194
for a free and confidential phone consultation.

Practice Description
“Are you a parent that is overwhelmed by the new realities of today's teen life? From the internet to cell phones, to media saturation, dangerous club drugs,high tuition costs,and a high divorce rate,even the most protected kids are exposed to these elements. I will work to help you and your teen stay connected. I will challenge the boundaries of "teen privacy" and promote greater transparency betweeen you and your loved one. Working in a highly interactive and compassionate manner, I will use my skills to support your teen and to keep you involved in the process. Working with difficult issues as depression, anxiety, oppositional behavior, anger and ADHD, I challenge kids to identify their role in these struggles and take greater accountability. Through questioning teens' thought processes and behaviors, I add a necessary humor with wisdom to soften hard talking points for teens. As a family systems therapist I have unique training in understanding interactional patterns of individuals and families. Working from a relationship perspective, I maintain an awareness of the needs of all family members; including those not involved in therapy. In addition, I have extensive experience as a special education teacher.”


Office Information
Weekend appointments available. Home-base appointments possible as necessary.

Gender: Male


Education
M.Ed., Cambridge College, Counseling Psychology- Marital & Family Therapy, 2000
B.S.E., Bridgewater State College, Psychology & Special Education, 1996

License/Certification in Marriage and Family Therapy *
Licensed Marital and Family Therapist, Connecticut - License # 001109

Other Licenses/Certifications *
Special Education Teacher Certfication (moderate special needs, 5-12) Massachusetts, 1996

Voluntary Certifications/Awards/Memberships/Publications
AAMFT Clinical Member, CTMFT Member

Languages spoken other than English

Health Plan Participation
Free phone consultation. Cost per session: Between $70-$90 Sliding scale base on client's ability to pay.