As if parenting weren't challenging enough- with constantly setting limits, balancing "Yes"'s with "No"'s, and helping keep kids from boredom. Trying to determine an appropriate summer bedtime with adolescents is often a parental dilemma as kids are keenly aware that their parents cannot default to the, "You need your rest, you've got school tomorrow," axiom.
So how do you negotiate bedtime with your youth? The short answer is that you meet your child, pre-teen or teen where they are at in terms of their level of responsibility. That is to say that you needn't establish a set bedtime based on chronological age but rather on each kid's ability to know and care for his/her mind and body. For example, a 10-year-old who is typically very responsible and self-governing with putting himself to sleep at a consistent 9:00 PM bedtime each school night with or without parent promting should be given a bit more latitude in the summer as he is not likely to veer too far from knowing that the pillow becomes increasingly desirable as each hour passes.
On the other hand, a 15-year-old boy who is constantly burning the midnight oil unbeknownst to his parents and struggles to manage sleep with a media saturated viewership should be dealt with in a more structured and deliberate manner. He is not likely to flick the lights off willingly and will need some extra supervision.
There simply is no hardfast time that makes most sense in the summer. It is important to plug in to your child's sleep schedule throughout the year so that you can gauge when he/she seems to be their best self. If they are able to impose some self-discipline, a little late night fun from time to time can offer the dose of flexibility they just may need to know that a bit of deviation is not going to throw the internal axis of. However, be ever vigilant of the child who disdains the lights out policy. A little creativity and tenderness will go a long way as oppossed to the frustrating words that may want to jump off your lips in your effort to speed the process along.
Happy Parenting! :)
Remo Counseling
A Teen Friendly and Family Counseling Service
Southbury, CT
