Today's parents are overworked, overtired and overdue a vacation. And yet a vacation hardly seems anywhere near in a recessionary economy for most. Trying to effectively parent a teenager when simultaneously juggling more balls that can already be handled is a daunting task. Yet it is the task that must take most of our energy.

Parents and Teenagers Need a Little Tenderness

When it comes to parenting teenagers nobody seems to envy parents. Yet why are there those that find teens to be endearing. Teens are among the most grossly misunderstood population perhaps next to the elderly. This is often because adults lay claim to having previously been a teenager and thus fully comprehend the complexity of teen living. While many things continuously echo adolescent living from years past I cannot imagine a reasonable person doubting the uniqueness of today’s teenagers’ challenges. From media saturation, to excessive forms of communication; an inundation with facebook, myspace and other time stealers to the over liberalization of music and an onslaught of drug choices that have yet to be fully understood, today’s adolescents face issues that adults are ill equipped to handle. To be fair, this is not the adult’s fault as the mass movement of technology has caught us all on the trough of the wave. But those that have a willingness to not so much endorse modern amenites and communication fads, but rather to understand their “normalcy” in today’s culture are more likely to connect with a teen population that so desperately needs understanding. There are many great advantages to living in 2010. Yet many are beginning to question, “Has technology truly improved the quality of life.” Afterall, these “toys” that teens can’t seem to live without come with a pricetag. This price is often not in the form of a one time purchase but in a two year membership with unlimited this or free that. So when will human relationships become intimate again? That’s probably better left to divine scholars than I, but one thing seems for certain to me. If adults only see the negative in what the teen world is confronted with regarding consumerism, materialism and a giant marketing campaign to steal our children’s values, it will be quite difficult for us to be in positions of influence with them. That is to say, how can we convince of youth that there is a danger to too much technology if they don’t feel we understand its upside. We lose much credibility when we share concerns without empathizing with current culture. It is true that life would be easier if teens would just listen and heed the advice of well informed and well intended adults- especially those adults that truly enjoy and appreciate teens. But because teens often view adults with suspicion and are portrayed as “out of touch” we are called to further understand first the benefits of teen decision making before we can pull them away from the “dark side.” The important point here is that with a little tenderness and recognition that each generation has its own set of challenges, adults need to soften to that which teens didn’t create. A little understanding creates a little more closeness.

https://bryon@remocounseling.com
bryon@remocounseling.com
Bryon Remo
Licensed Marital and Family Therapist